Periodically I get boxed into a corner by my children. (Don’t look at me like that, it happens to the best of us, you know.) It’s all to do with imposing age restrictions.
They ask me when they will be old enough to do something and I randomly pluck an age from the air, an age that seems aeons hence, and make a sweeping declaration: “You can have a pet when you are 7.” “You can wear nail varnish when you are 6.” “You can use the blender when you are 31.”
The problem is that now my chickens are coming home to roost. For, unbeknown to me, The Girls have taken such off-the-cuff decrees to be Gospel and thus are counting down the days until they turn seven so that they can claim the Guinea Pig that is their Age-Right (yes, that’s a totally made up word.)
When LBG was three I rashly promised her that she could have a sleepover at someone’s house when she was eight. This a date so far in the future when I was juggling a toddler and a baby on three hours’ sleep a night that it couldn’t possibly be on any horizon. Except now she is cruising apace towards her seventh birthday and I am unable to shift the age-limit I summarily imposed to stop her badgering me to have a sleepover all those years ago.
Some other age-restrictions I have placed on my children to prevent further discussion of the topic include:
Ears Pierced: 13. At least. My mother and I are in agreement over this, which is good because we are both careful to avoid discussion about the age at which I beat my mother into weary submission on the same subject and she, defeated, allowed me to get mine done. And no, I am not telling you because LBG can read and she knows how to Google her mother.
Boyfriends: 18. DH thinks I am being too lenient. I am beginning to agree.
Get Married: 28. With caveats listed below.
Have a baby: some point after the wedding to a person she has been living with for at least two years, to whom she is utterly devoted, who is completely devoted by return. Oh, and once he has slain a dragon and brought me the stamen from a rare orchid that grows at the foot of an enchanted mountain. 42?
Drive: when old enough to understand the need for- and pay for- the mandatory Fully Comprehensive Insurance. 36.
Leave home: she will be allowed temporary leave to attend University. Then she will live locked in a tall tower until such time as the stamen-bearing dragon-slayer comes to ask her Parents’ permission to marry her. 41-and-a-half
Have a TV in her bedroom: I’m tempted to dig out the roulette board and let the chips fall where they may. 17?
Have the wifi code: after she has tidied her room, done her homework and made me a three course meal. Oh, and fed the dog I wanted, mucked out the Guinea Pigs she wanted and collected eggs from the chickens DH wanted. 12.
Go out in that: never.
That’s my parenting decisions made for the next few years.
OH! I hadn’t realised that this was YOUR key note, Kelly! I loved listening to this at Britmums Live and thought that you had a really gorgeous voice. Well done you!
Thank you Amber! I always say I have the face for radio and the voice for silent movies!
Isn’t it terrifying, not only their memory for your limits but determination that you stick to them – Madam is nearly 9 which means reminders of all the things I said she ‘might’ be able to do at 10! xx
These all sounds like perfectly reasonable responses to me. My 5yo has been asking me for a sleepover, too, but I got round it be letting her have one with her brother – she was so excited! I think just going for the dragon slaying and rare orchid is actually a very generous concession, too.
So pleased I am not the only perfectly reasonable human out there @thereadingresidence!
Love this! Ears pierced at 11 at the earliest, pets arrived last summer, when they were 13, 10 and 8. My boys had TVs in their rooms at 13 and 10, which I guess means my daughter will demand one at 10 too (she’s nearly 9 now). On the plus side, she will be making her own breakfast and getting the sheets off her own bed at 10 too.
My default response to many questions is ‘When you’ve left home, got your own money and can make your own decisions’.
I shall train myself to say that phrase every time they ask me a question SarahMO3W
These throw away lines do bite us! For me it was mobile phone at 10…
Ouch LakesMum. *makes note*
The twins, ie your godchildren, will be coming to live with you in the very near future 🙂
There’s a queue for long-term residents Lisa- they have to line up behind Granny M.
Simon used to tell Bernard that her rule of thumb should be no boyfriends til she was 40 and no sex until daddy was dead!
And never allowed a TV or computer in the bedrooms until they were old enough to buy one for themselves! And it worked – they both got a laptop at 18 – until then they watched TV with us or went without! (and at the time we only had 1 desktop computer so they had to share that with us too! I am a mean mummy!
I am henceforth adopting that rule Mary. Trouble is that they both have more money than us!
Hahahaha. Love this. I’ve promised we’ll get a dog when youngest is 10. I’ve got four more years to go – and a husband who loves his cat and says he’ll never let a dog over the threshold #ohdear
It’s tricky isn’t it @donna? We got a dog before we had children so that we could always say “sorry- we’ve got a dog, we can’t have [insert animal children covet here] but it’s all going to pot!
Perfect! Couldn’t agree more….although our roulette wheel landed on 16 for a TV in her room and no boyfriends until she leaves home 😉 Great post 🙂
I like that no boyfriends until you leave home thing Suzanne. I may have to filter than one in.
Sounds good to me. I might give that a go with the boys 🙂
Good luck Susan.