They say that beauty is only skin deep. I have always believed that to be true and I certainly work very hard with The Girls to ensure that they will not consider their looks their greatest asset.
I never think of myself as beautiful, you know, genuinely beautiful. All the other mums rock up at the school gates looking slim and together and fabulous and I sort of slink in at the back not really minding whether I am noticed or not if I am honest. I’m not anti-fashion or anti-style or anti-make-up. I just would rather have ten minutes more sleep than take effort with my clothes and my hair. I also have the bruised thighs from where I walk into the cupboards all the time, the cellulite on my flabby thighs, the post-baby (OK, she’s a child) muffin top and jelly-belly. I have an ample frame because I would rather eat cookies than think about the minute-on-the-lips-lifetime-on-the-hips stuff.
And I appear in very few photographs. I’m always the one taking them. There are very few pictures of us with my mum when we were growing up for the same reason. Blogging at least has made me get in the frame, reminded me that it’s important to be in pictures and NOT worry about what you look like. So I didn’t really think about it when I tweeted my entry to the Home By Midnight Competition: I just pulled a silly face and forgot all about it.
I never imagined I would be at the Julia Boggio Studio having my photos taken yesterday because I am not beautiful. That’s not said in a self-deprecating way, it’s just what I consider to be true.
Winning the shoot. Taking part in the shoot. That was a lot of fun. I tweeted a few shots as I went because that’s what Instagram is for. Given that I spend a lot of time on social media, I should have been prepared for the hurtful comment. But I wasn’t. I sat and sobbed. I felt silly then. Silly for getting so excited. Silly for thinking that I was somehow special or beautiful.
The thing is, I spent the afternoon being made to feel beautiful. I was surrounded by people telling me I looked fabulous and cute. That I was a natural, great at posing, that kind of thing. Whilst I am sure that this is part of their remit, being in the business of making people feel good about themselves, it felt so genuine that I started believing it. In that room, I felt not just special, but beautiful. Genuinely attractive, beguiling, fabulous.
I had always considered photo shoots to be for Christmas cards. I felt that the sort of thing I did was a vanity exercise, and that there were far better things to spend your money on. But Home By Midnight changed my opinion. I had a whole afternoon that was about me. Not play-dates and school uniform and laundry and home work and “Mamma can you help me? Can we do this? I want to do that! ” But about me. I left feeling better about my image of myself, my opinion of myself, than I have for years. I got home and looked at myself in the mirror and, for the first time, probably since I had the children, I believed my daughters when they told me I looked beautiful. I don’t even need to look at the pictures to know that I will look lovelier than I have ever looked. I already know it to be true. I have had so many lovely supportive and amazed comments on my the photos of myself that I have shared.
I have looked at the pictures and I don’t see silly, or fat or tired or frumpy. I was sad last night when I went to bed to be taking the make-up off because I worried that I would no longer feel good about myself. But this morning the feeling is still there.
I truly believe that feeling beautiful makes you beautiful.
Yes, beauty is only skin deep.
Make-up is skin-deep.
But the experience I had at Julia Boggio Studios is something I will carry in my heart for ever.
*disclosure: I won this photo shoot. I wanted to write about it after a comment which made me think about beauty.*
Body image is a thorny issue, particularly for women. If you enjoyed reading this post, I urge you to read about Feisty Tapas and her face and Mummy Barrow Being a Big Fat Failure
you look amazing, but then you do in real life as well!
You look gorgeous in the pics and you are pretty gorgeous from what I remember of seeing you at BritMums. I thank my lucky stars that I spent several years working as a fashion journalist and stylist, because I had a true insight into what it takes to get the images that we all see in adverts and magazines. None of us are picture perfect in real life, even the top models of this world, but picture perfect isn’t what true beauty is all about anyway… even though it’s nice to have some picture perfect shots for the family album! xx
Thank you for commenting @motherwifeme, and for saying such lovely things. I am always amazed at myself: I am totally taken in by magazine and TV images, yet you think I would know better at my age than to compare myself!
Never in a million years would I have guessed that you did not take lots of time with your appearance, you always look stunning when I see you Kelly. You are a very gorgeous woman. Mich x PS I’m convinced I commented on this when it first went live, must have been my phone! tsk
Beautiful photos Kelly, congratulations on winning the shoot. You are beautiful inside and out, you didn’t need the shoot to show that xx
I cannot wait to show you the images from your shoot. You are a beautiful person, inside and out, and we were so happy to have you in the studio. Jx
You look flipping amazing – but I already knew that, I’m just glad you’ve now seen it! \
You look absolutely stunning and so glad that the experience provided you with more than just a “surface” experience. Thanks for sharing your heart. xo
wowzers, you look stunning x
This is so wonderful Kelly, I’m so so glad you can finally see how beautiful you truly deeply are xx
You look amazing Kelly, and that dress is gorgeous! Lovely post! :)x
Kelly the photos are stunning. You look amazing.
you look absolutely radiant and beautiful Kelly and as you say true beauty comes from within. it is just a shame that the world in which we live is all about how we look rather than how it is ok to look different and be different and not be a sheep (baaa). lovely post by a lovely lady x x
Lovely post. You are a beautiful woman because you have a very happy, open, warm face. A lovely radiance that shines through which is what real beauty is, inside and out 🙂
I can’t believe that someone made a comment like that! How rude! I think you look amazing and what a fantastic experience to have.
Aw you’re beautiful but you’re lovely too which is much more important x x
I’ve always thought you’re beautiful – you’re a Goddess, yes? xx
Oh you KNOW you’re a hottie girl. Don’t even sweat the trolls. Love this post, the pics are fab and you are so right — beauty is a feeling. I reckon the majority of people (myself included) feel the way you do most of the time, but in reality we’re surrounded by so much everyday beauty sometimes it just blows me away. I mean just scroll down this list of commenters and tell me who among them doesn’t have that special something something? Taking yourself for granted seems to be part and parcel of being a mama but never forget… you’re beeeauddiful, it’s true 😉 x
I’m speechless that you had a nasty comment. You look amazing all the time, so warm. I’m beyond jealous that you won this comp x
It was so lovely to meet you yesterday and I am so happy you enjoyed the shoot and felt beautiful afterwards too….. maybe we should schedule in a make up lesson and you can then so you can recreate the look yourself…:) Did you manage to get the lashes off? 🙂 XX
I agree with what other have said, I have met you a few times, you always look so groomed and so together, this makeover is beautiful, but it is you shining through and through!
There is a saying that “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but ugly is to the bone”, and variations of the same…There is true beauty in all of us, no matter what shape, size or color we are. It hurts when other women (our sisters on this earth) are so judgemental. We must band together to celebrate (!) being a woman…that’s it. We also have to stop giving other people the power to undo, with one unkind word, all the good feelings we get from doing something new or feeling pretty or just having a great, silly, awesome day…One faceless, tackless person cannot steal your power unless you let them. Be strong ladies! And, Michelle, you are stunning! And that’s the truth!
It would never have occurred to me that you would not know how are beautiful you are. Your warmth and vitality are infectious and you have always looked glamorous to me. I am not sure what hurtful comment was made but am sure it says more about them than you.
Ah Kelly this is such a gorgeous post. You ARE beautiful. Ignore anyone who tells you otherwise. Stunning shots – natural, happy and LOVELY. xxx
Wow! What a gorgeous write up! You made me teary by the end lady! And GORGEOUS pics! Maybe one day you and I will be brave enough to compare “that” one! I’ll show you mine if you show me yours!!!! 😉 x
Those photos of you are stunning but it’s what’s on the inside shining through – sometimes I reckon we need to give it a chance to get out.
I too prefer my 10 minutes extra sleep in the morning, am black and blue, wobbly and scarred, I describe myself as broken. But I’m me and after a wonderful experience last week I feel a little happier being me.
To those that made the nasty comments, pah! You’re gorgeous x
What can I say, you are GOOOOOORgeous, and not only on these pictures. I have met you a few times, and you are a very lovely lady, and don’t get upset about what other peopel think. Life is too short for this!
Awww I love your photos you really are STUNNING! And I am so happy you had such a lovely experience!! Also, I DO hope you start being in family photos MORE. It is so important for your kids to have lovely photos of you with them too!!!
Big hugs, gorgeous lady.
M xx
Kelly you are fabulous and thankfully I didn’t see the hurtful comment – possible better for me as I get so angry and start sticking up, getting myself involved it always backfires on me.
As someone else said above, don’t listen to them – they know nothing!
Love the two posts you’ve linked to too, they are a couple of my favourites
You are adorable and never let yourself think otherwise xxx
I’m right there with you, girl. My body is covered with, spider veins, stretch marks and various scratches, abrasions, and bruises from cats, chickens, kids, etc. I have a jelly belly (exacerbated by two c-sections). I seldom feel “beautiful.” The good news is, I care less about others’ opinions as I age, and I mourn all the energy I wasted being self-conscious. I still struggle with it, but it’s getting easier. Rock on! And you do look fabulous…
Oh my word, yet again I am surprised by how much my opinion of someone and their opinion of themselves differ so greatly. You have always been a beautiful, warm, English rose to me. I have never pictured you otherwise. In my mind I see your lovely locks, bright eyes and very pretty smile whenever I think of you. These photos are indeed very glam and beautiful, but they on accentuate what I already know of you. And I hardly know you. xox
PS Glad you had fun doing this, for me it was a similarly exciting discovery experience that I recommend to everyone!!! 😀
I am glad that this has made you see what we have all known for ages! You are beautiful and don’t let anyone, especially a faceless troll tell you otherwise!
So pleased that you had a fabulous time, I think we all need reminding from time to time …..
Oh my goodness thank you so much for the mention. You are beautiful inside and out every single day but yesterday in particular you looked amazing! When a person is beautiful inside, it reflects on the outside in ways that no amount of make-up or airbrushing will ever be able to match.
Beauty is also in the eye of the beholder. And Julia and her team have clearly made your beauty come to the surface. Not that it was very far down to start with. I have always thought you were gorgeous.
And thanks for the mention of my post.
You look amazing in these pictures, and a natural amazing. Not a “made up for the pictures” sort of amazing. Just naturally glowing and fabulous.
So glad that you left with that feeling. The pics should be on your fridge so you get reminded of it everyday.
I am so surprised to hear that you don’t know how beautiful you are. In the rare photos that you do post of yourself, I’m always struck by how gorgeous you are. No, you’re not skinny, but as a plus-sized woman, I covet a figure like yours – curves in the right places, womanly and sexy. As for your fashion-sense, that’s another thing I covet! You always look properly put together and grown up, classy without being over done and always stylish (could I possibly gush any more?!).
I’m really glad that the photoshoot gave you some much-needed confidence, and quite frankly, balls to the person who felt the need to be mean to you on Twitter – what a very sad life when they need to be randomly horrible for absolutely no reason. Your girls have an amazing roll model and while I agree that beauty is only skin deep, the other famous phrase says that it’s in the eye of the beholder – you’re finally just starting to see what the rest of us already knew.
I think you look very beautiful indeed. Absolutely stunning in fact! I would LOVE to have your skin. As for the hurtful comment – well, that says more about the person who said it than it does about you. People who say unkind things to others do so to make them feel insecure, but it is they who are often deeply insecure themselves. I would not give it a second thought my love. You’re BEAUTIFUL #endof
You are beautiful both physically and as a person. Look at yourself you are shining. When you are an old lasy you will look back and thee photos with dibelief that you ever thought you were less than gorgoues. I see pics of 20 year old me and think how lovely was I but i didnt know it then. IGNORE the trolls. Big hugs
You look utterly gorgeous x
Bless you for that @actually mummy. It always delights me to meet bloggers in real life: they are so lovely and genuine 🙂
@helen I had a wonderful time. Miraculous even!
I have met you and you are indeed beautiful. In a proper, real, lovely and warm way. As opposed to the ugly person who upset you on twitter 🙁
Blimey @merry, I didn’t realise you had such a high opinion of me: now you know the truth you may be disappointed!! FWIW I would love to be you x
Thank you so much @carolin.
gorgeous! I am exactly the same as you…and would always prefer extra sleep to make-up. It sounds like you had an amazing time x
When I met you, I thought you had effortless glamour. I thought you must be someone who put a lot of time into making that look happen. I thought you were beautiful and must know it. You exude a confidence about your image I believed you had. I would love to look like you 🙂
This post has made me happy for you. And a pox on anyone who is cruel. How ridiculous of them.
You look absolutely stunning, Kelly and your are not only beautiful on the outside, but also inside and in the end that’s what counts 😉