LBG got an invitation recently for a birthday party two months hence. Whilst this is not uncommon in our parts-the soft-play facilities are booked up years in advance in the same way that wedding venues are- it still put the fear of God into me.
I couldn’t help feeling, as I stood at the school gates that first day, that everyone was part of The Club except me, you see. They all knew what they were doing, what kit was needed when, what the form was for collection and drop-off, and where the best parking spots, and I, as the new girl, did not.
Of course, time has marched on since then, and now that LBG has been at her school for a year, the party invitations have started to trickle in. Flooded is probably nearer the mark: her weekend schedule for January was filled even before December had really begun. I guess in the world of children’s parties, you need to plan ahead.
Admittedly I am fine with presents: I tend to go with crafty/educational present, since that is where our interests lie, and since it is always a neutral enough gift that, should the recipient get two, or dislike it entirely, it can be re-gifted. But how much to spend? Having heard from another mother the kind of gifts that her daughter received, I wonder whether I have been too stingy. But even at £10 per head, that’s over £40 in gifts every month, based on the current invitation rate.
A far trickier issue, for me, has been the birthday card. LBG’s class list, as with most classes in this fine multi-cultural land, reads like that of a UN summit. I have to ask her how to pronounce some of the names for fear of embarrassing myself and the person in question. This is not a bad thing at all, since she has far greater exposure to ethnic diversity than I ever did as a child. And yet, when trying to buy cards, I see only white children smiling back at me.
I am a person who plans to avoid branding for as long as possible where small people are concerned. I would inevitably choose the character that the child in question liked least, or worse, was afraid of. Leaving aside, then, all branded birthday cards, and therefore most cards with numbers on, you have a choice of fairly generic Happy Birthday cards. The boys ones all seem to feature football. And a smiley white British boy with brown hair. Likewise the female cards have a lot of pink and a blonde-haired smiley child. Maybe a cat. At the very least a flower.
So what if you are buying for one of the class whose actual invitation is of a coloured girl in a pink princess dress? Or a boy whose family originate from India? I have no doubt offended a great number of people, in writing this, by using the wrong ‘politically correct’ terminology, but I hope that my point is clear. If the little girl has a coloured child on her invitation, shouldn’t I make the effort to get her a card with a similar girl on it? Where do I find them?
Go on! You know you want to tell me what you think!