In like a lamb – has Spring sprung?

Last night was not a good night. Which is why I became aware that Spring may have sprung. Sitting with Dimples as she fretted, tossed and turned in her sleep I was aware that the night was not as quiet as it has been of late. It took me a while to realise that there were birds chirping in the trees outside the bedroom window. They are back from wintering overseas.

Then there was bright sunshine this morning. All day in fact.

And I noticed blossom on the trees, flowering bulbs in the gardens.

Last night was not a good night. And yet somehow, despite the need for sunglasses to protect my sensitive eyes and a good deal of strong coffee, I felt a glimmer of something good today. I think that I may be coming out of the winter fug that wraps itself around me like the heavy dark blue blanket that sits on my bed, muffling sounds, dampening feelings and reactions, resisting motion and encouraging inertia.

The blanket of Depression does not seem to feel quite as tight today. The sun touched my skin. The flowers made me smile. I have been feeling urges that I have not felt for months: to organise, to tidy, to clean. The need to take control, to take back the anaemic version of me that has hidden under the blanket for months, pretending to friends and strangers that all is well, telling people what they want to hear when all I really wanted to do was hibernate; hide and not be sought out; sleep for a few months.

This may be the beginning: maybe , like the weather (and to mix metaphors), shall give up the lion and take up the lamb; throw off the heavy blanket and feel the sun on my face.