A good year: my goals for a better 2011

I have never been one to write resolutions, since I always fail at the first hurdle and by the end of January I’m ready to give up on life altogether and become a hermit in the Scottish Highlands so that no-one will ever have to endure the company of Our-Lady-Of-Perpetual-Misery-and-Shame that I would become by February 1st. Except that I don’t know where the Highlands are, and am fairly sure I wouldn’t like them since they are a) high, which makes me rigid with fear deeply nervous and b) land, to which I am allergic, not to mention c) I don’t know where they are, so how would I know which way was London?

My primary issue with Resolutions, other than being completely incapable of keeping to them for a period of more than seven days, is that you make them at the wrong time of year. There is a hiatus after the excesses of eating, drinking, present giving and general good cheer that go with Christmas during which I sit and dwell on those excesses and determine that next year I shall be better organised so I don’t spend so much money. I shall plan the meals better so that I don’t eat so much, I shall exercise, I shall, well, you get the idea. Thus when asked what my resolutions are for the sparkling clean slate that is the year ahead a mere seven days after Santa’s visit and just as I am finishing the last of the Turkey, of course I am going to say that I want to be thinner, healthier, more frugal. And as I sit in the comfort of my armchair, blogging when I should be doing my Tax Return, I am so very glad that I am not dwelling in misery any longer. Last year was arduous, so just making it to January 1st was enough to restore balance in my life. My primary objective for this year is therefore simple: to be better.

I have spent January getting back to daily life, not just as it currently is, with school runs and play dates and so on, but also as it used to be. Last year at this time I was wedged into the very same armchair in the decidedly cold sitting room, unable to do anything due to the limitations of my SPD. A few weeks later therefore, when Dimples arrived, the last vestiges of the routine that I had spent 21 months building with the Threeva went out of the window. A year on, we are at last getting back on track. I feel like I could actually, with a bit of hard work and practise, make a reasonable stab at being a Stay at Home Mother. The days when the Threeva isn’t at school (which most normal people would call nursery) we do some craft together, or have lunch. Sometimes we go out or visit Granny or go to a class. These things we do in the way that I imagine proper SAHM do with their children. I’ve realised that she actually enjoys spending time with me, that she learns from the things we do together. When we do the school run, we listen to audio books or talk about our days. I don’t think that we ever did that before. Likewise, I have a chance during the week to spend time alone with Dimples, to play with her or take her to playgroup. I have taught her to clap and saying ‘Dog’ (Threeva’s first word too!) She nods and shakes her head if you ask her questions and she potters at my feet very happily as I bake in the kitchen. I am no longer her boob-slave. During our day-to-day lives I have realised that my personality is once again emerging as theirs does. I am being a better mother.

I am being a better wife too: OK, I still suck at getting laundry done but I am baking and cooking. I am making sure that things are mended, that Gas men are booked in, that the car gets its MOT. I am interested in DH’s day. I even sometimes stay awake long enough to say goodnight!

I was astonished today to discover that Domestic Goddesque has, for the first time, made it onto the Tots 100 list, which has thrilled me beyond all reasonable pre-watershed descriptions. This is proof positive that I am a better blogger than I have been in the last few years. I have delighted myself too since, as my routine finally emerges from the first year fug, I find that there is always a time slit in the day for me to write. And that the writing gives me back a little bit more of myself. It’s the opposite of a vicious cycle: a positive cycle. An uplifting cycle. It’s a cycle I want to continue throughout this year as I work to be better at the things I do best: housekeeping, mothering, wife-ing. It’s a cycle that has made me believe that writing a book is a possibility this year and, in tandem with that, a business idea that I have been carrying around in my head for a while. There’s nothing linear about my Goals for 2011: they wouldn’t make good bullet points on a PowerPoint presentation. But they are there, emerging like green shoots in the spring.

This post was written for the Mum’s the Blog Business Blog Carnival, prompted by the idea of Goals for 2011.