What they don’t tell you in NCT classes…

1. That the jump from one child to two is sooo much more significant that the jump from nought to one.
2. That you can fall asleep whilst standing up.
3. That if it means you will get to the Pocket Dictator’s singing class on time you will leave the house in your pyjamas.
4. That you can pick up one child whilst breastfeeding the second.
5. That you don’t have to shower as often as you thought.
6. That if it meant you got to eat a Krispy Kreme in peace you would expose your boobs to Gordon Brown David Cameron.
7. That, at some point, you will consider selling your kids on eBay.
8. That you can hear your children cry through walls ten feet thick, even if there are planes overhead, men drilling in the road and you are wearing ear-plugs.
9. That the parental guilt multiplies exponentially with every child, thus you will lie awake every night when they are 2 worrying about what they will be doing when they are 12, or even 4.
10. That, fortunately, your love will increase exponentially with every child. With every day. And that, somehow, even though you don’t have time to do the ironing anymore, never mind the blogging; even though you are still picking up toys and tidying the house ten minutes before you go to bed; even though you never see your husband because your bedtime is before the Watershed, you can’t go to bed without pulling their duvets up and kissing their foreheads. In fact you can’t remember what life was like BC (before children) since you can’t imagine life without them. And that actually, you’d rather be spending time with them that worrying about things like showering, and ironing, and blogging!!