Down at the money pit the other day, I found Dr. Hook’s Completely Hooked amongst the prolific collection of dodgy music that I keep there, where none of our smart friends can see it. The lyrics are so funny they never fail to make me smile, so I drove home with the wind in my hair, the WH by my side and a smile on my face.
Millionaire
I’m not a bad person,
I don’t drink, and I don’t kill.
I got no evil habits, and I probably never will.
I don’t sing like Elvis Presley,
I can’t dance like Fred Astaire.
But there’s one thing in my favor,
I’m a millionaire!
CHORUS:
And I got more money,
Than a horse has hairs.
‘Cause my rich old uncle died,
And answered all my prayers!
But having all this money,
Is going to bring me down.
If you ain’t with me honey,
To help me spread it around!
I could get myself a nose job,
I could diet for a year.
But I’ll never be Robert Redford,
‘Cause I’m much to fond of beer.
Please don’t misunderstand me,
It’s not love I’m trying to buy.
It’s just I got all this here money,
And I’m a pretty ugly guy.
CHORUS
I don’t mind if you love me for my money,
If you love me for whatever else I got.
But ‘cept for all this stuff, I’m a lonely Fort Knox,
I don’t guess I’m doing all that hot.
CHORUS
Money, money, money, money………………..
