It’s not as if we didn’t do our best on the damage limitation front. We had firm plans that the dog stayed downstairs, where the wood floors have been lovingly sanded back, until she knew that the only place she could relieve herself was beyond the back door. She would sleep in the shower room (lino floor) where she would be neatly contained during the night, we could set the house alarm and come down in the morning to a dog happy to see us.
By day two, she’d figured out how to escape and promptly set said alarms off at 1am. The neighbours loved us for that, I’m sure. She was then left in the kitchen until the heartbreaking sounds of her throwing her little body at the (metal) dog gate in a desperate attempt to get near to us broke what was left of our will power, and has since found her ideal spot to sleep in an altogether more suitable environment. Our bed.